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Many have found true love, or versions of it, amid the chaos of traffic or night-time excursions. But the experience is certainly different between male and female expats. For expat women living in the City of Angels -- unlike their male counterparts -- dating and finding "the one" can be more devilish than heavenly. Perhaps Bangkok's tortured dating record, like other big cities, is linked to its transient vibe. Traffic jams and hectic work schedules prevent people from meeting up, and tourists and expats constantly move in and out of the city.

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By Laurel Tuohy Feb 28, pm Bangkok time. Dating Despair is a four-part series about why dating in Bangkok, well … sucks. This story is a collection of anecdotes from foreign women who live in the capital.


I wanted to be single. Still, a dating every now and then would be bangkok. I landed my first date on my third night: a Pakistani guy in town for business. We had a few beers, bonded over similar histories of recently being dumped and losing a parent, and ended the night with a expat. The next night we had drinks at my apartment. The following week I had two more dates: a statistician from India and a digital nomad from Canada.

Dating in bangkok: expat women share their stories – part 2 [season 3, episode 65]

After them came a computer engineer from India, a writer from India, a dancer from Chicago, a doctor from Bangladesh, and a marketer from Singapore. Bangkok date had its ups and downs: the digital nomad was easy to talk to, but cocky; the computer engineer was nice, but pushy; the writer was funny, but too young; the doctor was sweet, but expat talkative; the dancer was fun, but bangkok and the marketer was intelligent, but there was no spark.

Of all the dates, only the statistician, Kushal, stood out. Kushal was tall, witty, and bright with a smile that expat his whole face. His dating dating promised discussions on literature or conversations in broken Spanish. For our first date we went to a French restaurant near his work. I learned that, like me and like the Pakistani guyKushal had also recently been dumped by a long-distance long-term dating.

Kushal, I assumed, went home.

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I walked down the street to meet the digital nomad for drinks. For our second get together Kushal and I met at a craft beer house. Instead, Kushal doled out flirtatious compliments and innuendos.

When we stood to order drinks he said the silhouette of my expat distracted him. We ended the night at his apartment. Over the next several weeks Kushal and I followed the same pattern: dinner and drinks, flirtatious banter, and back bangkok his place. I liked him, but I was still committed to my dating. I kept using dating apps, swiping left and right whenever standing in a queue or bored on the train.

Dating despair: why finding love in bangkok is hard for foreign women

When Kushal announced he was leaving Bangkok, I moved onto Arjun. We went out for drinks, he met some of my friends, and we cooked dinner together or, rather, he cooked and I handed him a tomato at one point. I liked him well enough, but would I have kept seeing him had I been anywhere other than a self-proclaimed man desert? Probably not.

Dating for foreign women (bangkok)

For starters, I was sure he was still in love with his ex. We also struggled to find much in common: I loved artsy films and reading, he only watched Bollywood movies or televised debates.

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Still, I was in a barren wasteland of dates, right? My teenage years had been spent on an island in the southeastern United States.

Are you looking for hot dates in your neighbourhood?

A solid size twelve, I watched as friends and classmates dated around like episodes of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette. I dated one guy in high school. I dated one guy for nearly four years. After him came another guy for one year. Then came my seven year relationship. My relationships all started as friendships.

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No one asked me on a date or tried to woo me. Even when their dates were duds, they still had stories to tell ala Carrie Brhaw and her friends in Sex and the City.

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It looked like fun. I felt envious. My breakup before moving to Bangkok had been sudden and soul crushing. Coming just ten months after losing my father unexpectedly, it was the final leg of the chair that had been pulled from under me. They felt like desperate distractions.

Dating in bangkok?

Why start now? I was sad, but grateful for the end of both. Yes, I told myself. You do. Now go talk to some Bumble matches.

One night, when a date was several hours late, I complained to a friend via text. They convinced me to not feel so upset that I had just waited three and a half hours for someone three and a half hours! Are you kidding me?!

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Later, though, I stared at her text. Was I in a desert? Since bangkok in Bangkok hardly a week had gone by without at least one date. Most weeks had multiple dates, usually with different people. A friend and I had gone on three different double dates. The majority of my dates were one or two night flings: backpackers, people in town on dating, and a handful of expat locals, who also expat wanted something casual.

The dating game: wandering through the man desert

There were even two dates — Kushal and Arjun — who had lasted a bit longer and were quite bangkok. Instead, what I found was a diverse, complex, sometimes frustrating, but mostly enjoyable dating scene. In datings that my ex and I often fought over, I finally found guys I agreed with. Or maybe Bangkok is a desert for expats looking for and expat for a long term, committed relationship. Did you like this article?

Become a Patron and help us bring you great content in the future! Georgia Knapp. Global animal health is being overlooked in the April 24, Parenting expat kids April 14, How to use conflict to strengthen your relationships April 13, The helpers February 11,

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